You know those time when you think you are having just a regular conversation with a friend and they say something that really is good advice and you smile, acknowledge it, think about it as it applies (or how you think it applies) to your life and then store it away in a memory bank of conversation. I JUST had one of those conversations Wednesday evening.
My dear friend Heather and I go for walks every week. We are cheerleaders for each other, confide in one another and God has blessed us as friends. She is the type of woman and mom I aspire to be. Her honesty and faith are an inspiration to me and I am blessed to be able to walk and have fellowship with her on a weekly basis. She is one of the most genuine people I've ever met.
Yesterday we were walking and of course, I brought her up to speed on my fertility numbers and she said, "You know what I think, God was giving you a glimpse. He was showing you that He does have that plan for you but it's not right now. Now is just not your time. You have that hope and He wanted to show you that, but it's just not for right now."
"Is anything too hard for the Lord? At the appointed time I will return
to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.” Genesis 18:14
I completely agreed with her and it was a nice way to look at how God, even when we feel hopeless, gives us hope in the midst of trials.
"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they
shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31 ESV
I fully understood how it applied to our journey trying to have a baby and then we moved onto other topics of conversation.
Something I may not have shared on here yet is that I am pursuing a certificate in Trauma & Crisis Response. I honestly can't tell you why God has called me to study this because in my heart of hearts, and looking at my past history, I don't feel like I am equipped for that field. However, out of obedience, I am taking the classes and God is preparing me for something. I, as well as my entire family, can sense that God is stirring in my heart and preparing me for some specific path. What that particular thing is no one but God knows at this point.
Heather told me about an opportunity in which I may be able to use my new certification and initially I told her I would pray about it but once my insecurities resurfaced, I didn't believe I would pursue anything. In the next couple of days I sought prayer from the people who know me best, my husband, my parents and my sister. We all knew that this would be a big step for me and a large change. The first day, I just asked people to pray for me to simply see whether or not God wants me to move toward this opportunity. I prayed the same thing but I was still fearful.
One of the very first things I learned in my crisis class is that when God calls you into crisis and trauma care, He is calling you to be his very hands and feet to people in the midst of some of the deepest, darkest, most intimate struggles of their lives. Talk about heavy! I also learned that when God calls you to join in those moments, He knows you are capable and will equip you to be able to handle it.
On my second day praying I could feel in my heart God wanted me to follow up on the opportunity out of obedience. All of the usual concerns came to mind and my personal sanity and well being was at the forefront of peoples' minds. More than once I was told that "it probably just isn't the best environment for you to be a part of. Knowing how you can be affected by the littlest of things, it may not be the best idea for you to be the one to carry these peoples' burdens."
It was after those comments that God revealed an amazing truth to me. Those people are absolutely right. On my own, I know that I would not be able to handle this stuff. I know that I would struggle with the hurt that others are feeling beyond my control. I know that I would get angry and have to wrestle through some injustices. BUT at the end of the day God said to me, "Dana, my child, they are right. You can't handle this on your own but I would never ask you to. I am calling you to this because I know that I can give you strength. If you, as someone who knows my heart, can't come to defend and be a warrior for my kingdom for the saddest of my children, who will? Can I call on you to carry them with me? Will you count on me to carry you?"
To everyone who has ever thought that they couldn't do something on their own, you are absolutely right. You can't. But thank God, literally, He never calls us to do anything on our own. In every step of our walk, in every breath of our lives, God is there. God sustains, strengthens, empowers, comforts and protects us. Do you believe that? Do you know that in your heart? Believe it! KNOW it!
I found out today that the opportunity that I was pursuing was no longer available so I know that it was not my time. That is where the GLIMPSE comes in. Heather was absolutely right but her wisdom doesn't just apply to having a baby. God gave me a glimpse into what He is preparing me for. God gave me a glimpse and in that glimpse revealed an everlasting truth to me. When He does finally call me into the field I am studying, He will already be there. He will have already created a path. He will walk me to that point, walk me through those fields and directly on the path that He created in advance. And most importantly, He will not expect me to travel alone.
Today I want you to rest in the fact that God is preparing a path for you. Whether or not you are in the midst of a struggle of a hard time, you are not alone. God does not expect you to carry this all on your own. Remember, He is always by your side but also remember, if you don't go or do the things you are doing on God's behalf, who will?
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."
Galatians 6:9 ESV