For the first time, Jake and I both had real high hopes for pregnancy. This time, he and I BOTH have really experienced disappointment. Jake has been my rock throughout this and still continues to be. Without God and without Jake's strength from the Lord and the encouragement he provides me, I would not be who I am at this moment. While Jake and I dated for a long time before we got married, it has been in this past year that I feel we have grown the most as a couple. This growth has come as a result, not of our trips or activities together but as a result of our faith in God. We both realize that this is our testimony. We both realize that we will not be the only people this happens to and we both realize that God is walking us through this. However, there are times when the sense of loss and disappointment is so great, all you can do is seek God with one another.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
Jake and I try to make it a point to pray together every single night. I believe this is a foundational part of our marriage. The fact that Jake allows me to hear his most intimate conversations with God truly unites us. The same goes for the fact that I trust him so much that I am willing to let him hear my concerns and conversations with the Lord. God is my number one but Jake is my number two. To speak to both of them at once and let them simply hear me means the world to me.
Because both of us choose to seek God during our trials and struggles, it strengthens our marriage. As you can see in Eclessiastes 4:12 a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Between Jake, God and myself, we grow stronger each day. I sincerely believe that if he or I had our focus elsewhere this year would have been WAY harder and entirely different. Instead of being hopeless, we are hopeful, instead of being sad, we choose joy. Instead of turning our backs on God in frustration, we turn towards him for grace and patience. Before this year I didn't know what it was to truly seek God with my husband. To seek Him as a unit. Now, we have learned what it means to submit to him as one. We have more strength together than we do alone. We have strength in numbers, we have strength from God.
I want to take a moment and just express my gratitude and love for my husband. He is the strongest, most capable man I have ever met in my entire life. He lights up a room with his humor and is the center of my world. He is a solid man of God and continues to seek God with his whole heart (probably the biggest turn on in the world). He works harder than anyone I know and has a zest for life that is hard to compete with. He is easy going but is passionate about his family and his faith. He is a protector. He is compassionate, loving and has a heart for the least of us. My husband is the head of our home. He is the most important person in my life and I adore him. I will always strive to provide him strength, encouragement, love and acceptance. I hope to always encourage him to be the best man that he can be and allow God to work in his life. I do my best to release his care and life to God always. I am so blessed that God has given me this man on earth to share in sorrow, joy, and everything in between.
I realize this is a cheesy post but there are times when you need encouragement. Today is a day that I want to encourage my husband. I want him to know, baby or not, he is the best man I know and I'm blessed to call him my husband. I am honored to be his wife.
I love you, Jake. I thank God for our trials because we wouldn't be the man and wife we are without them. Thank you for being there for me through all of this and thank you for sharing in this journey.
Thank you for my husband. Thank you for drawing us closer together and nearer to you throughout this past year. I pray that we continue to walk through these trials together and I want you to know that I am grateful for each day that passes. I do not wish any of this time away because I know that this is your will. Thank you for the one-on-one moments I get to share with my husband without any other distractions. Thank you for letting us focus entirely on one another. Thank you for giving us strength. Thank you for our faith and thank you for preparing our hearts so that we will be ready for our someday baby. I am so grateful for this time, I am so grateful for this struggle. In your powerful name I pray, amen.